You've seen those blog posts of people giving their own interpretations of the Movie, Frozen, yeah? They talk about how Elsa's heart is cold and needs thawing. Love is the true thaw-er (I just really made up that word). That's not what I noticed when I watched it for the first time last week- we run a little behind at our home.
What stuck out to me was the warning her parents received for the troll. "Fear will be your enemy, " he warned. Instead of heeding that warning, he created more fear inside Elsa.
"Conceal it, Don't feel it. Don't let it show." This was his advice to his daughter. When she was fearful, her powers turned chaotic. The secrecy drove her fear.
You might wonder what that has to do with a pornography addiction. When I first discovered my husband's problem, it was to remain a secret. Almost 16 years later it's still to remain a secret. "Don't tell your kids, don't tell others." This was the counsel I got form my church leaders - the only people my husband has allowed to "help" him. Has it helped? I don't think so. Don't get me wrong, I don't plan on going and shouting to all I know because it is embarrassing. People judge, so I get why. That's why I'm anonymous. But somewhere deep inside of me I feel that if people just knew, it would all start to get better.
Once Elsa's secret was out she could begin to feel free. Free of secrets. Free of lies. Free to be who she was with no shame. And once people saw who she was, the ones who truly loved her only wanted to help her.
So could the real answer to this really be: Let them know?
It could be the porn addict's wife version of, "Let It Go".
"Conceal it, Don't feel it. Don't let it show." This was his advice to his daughter. When she was fearful, her powers turned chaotic. The secrecy drove her fear.
You might wonder what that has to do with a pornography addiction. When I first discovered my husband's problem, it was to remain a secret. Almost 16 years later it's still to remain a secret. "Don't tell your kids, don't tell others." This was the counsel I got form my church leaders - the only people my husband has allowed to "help" him. Has it helped? I don't think so. Don't get me wrong, I don't plan on going and shouting to all I know because it is embarrassing. People judge, so I get why. That's why I'm anonymous. But somewhere deep inside of me I feel that if people just knew, it would all start to get better.
Once Elsa's secret was out she could begin to feel free. Free of secrets. Free of lies. Free to be who she was with no shame. And once people saw who she was, the ones who truly loved her only wanted to help her.
So could the real answer to this really be: Let them know?
It could be the porn addict's wife version of, "Let It Go".
This is Cherae from "and so I fight". Thank you so much for your comment. It touched me greatly. It makes me hurt to know that you have been suffering alone for all of these years. I would really like to talk to you if your willing. Please email me at rcfed5@gmail.com. I hope to hear from you soon! Cherae
ReplyDeleteHey there. I found you on Cherae's blog. I too am a fighter. I have been married 18 years next month and only recently found out about my husbands addictions and infidelity. We have a connection because ofthe struggle of Keeping our families together that no one else in the world can begin to understand. If you ever need someone we are here for you. I wish you all the best. -Becky
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