In the Beginning...

I grew up in an extremely active LDS (Mormon) family. My parents had 11 children. We didn't have a lot of money, but I had a happy childhood. I have no bad memories. My parents loved each other. They loved us.

As a teenager I would say I was pretty awesome! I did typical teenage things like sneaking out, but never got into trouble. I always chose to do what  was right. I never smoked. I never drank. I wasn't having sex. I was a "good girl." I wasn't perfect. I had my shortcomings. I didn't do my best in school, but I was there and I loved learning.

I graduated high school and guess where I went? Yup. Utah. I was excited to start this new chapter in my life. I was thrilled to be on my own!

The first 6 months flew by! I kept busy working and saving for college- no scholarships for the girl who doesn't do her best. I did have a good work ethic and was saving for my goal.

My boyfriend from home would come up most weekends. We were best friends. I loved spending time with him. He got me. He knew me. He loved me for who I was.  I never felt he had any expectations of me. In his mind I was perfect. I was happy!

He got his mission call shortly after I had been here, but he didn't leave until that 6 month mark. I was sad. I was going to miss him, but knew he was doing the right thing. He left on his mission. I planned on "waiting" for him, but I also planned on dating. I was not just going to sit around. You're single once. I was going to go out and meet people and have fun!

Shortly after he left, I met a very nice returned missionary. He was handsome, kind, and always happy. I was attracted to his smile and sense of humor. He made me feel happy! He asked me out on a date. I agreed to go with him. We had so much fun! We were never apart from then on. We hit it off from the start.

A long story short... after 6 months of dating, we decided we wanted to be together. We got engaged. We were married in the temple after a 2 and half month engagement. When we came out of the temple, I couldn't believe I was going to spend eternity with someone so kind, happy, and loving. I had just committed my life to one of the most wonderful men I have ever known!!

 

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That was 17 years ago. I wish I could say I was that happy all of those years, but I cannot. I would like to tell you the story of me. I would like to share my experiences that have been so dark for so long. I never thought this would be my story, but it is. It is real and I live it everyday. It is dark, but in the midst of it I have found a light. That light allows me to be happy.